WORLD IN A MIRROR
The spectrum of light
Log into the recesses of the soul
Reflects the dark side and the light of life
Giving an afterthought going hard
The struggle to maintain
A difference
My name Dewo, people said I was a freak, either at the point
where they see strange. Already into its five-times I reflect on the mirror in
my room, with a width of 50cm and 100cm length wood framed with a simple
ornament, but understated, and that is in it just a little body with thin hair.
That was me!
The image was so perfect in detail duplicate my body, from
head to toe. For some reason since I know myself in the mirror, I started to
like to linger in front of him. Staring at each angle and curve reflected that
God created through the medium of my parents.
Seemed to not want any defects that may be etched on my face.
So I really have to maintain and care for her. Not surprisingly, the white body
getting clean, in fact I can say that pretty boy. Let's say I'm strange,
quasi-clean, kemayu or whatever it is, I'm not ignoring their words. From
childhood was never interested in playing with boys with robots, kites or their
soccer ball. I'd rather play with girls, because I think the, they have
sensitive feelings and not care to play with them. One time I tried to join to
play with boys, but what I get is ridicule of them,
"Heh sissy! Already, play only with girls. You're not
content to play with us know. Huh! Basic sissies! "
I immediately ran home crying. Parents and sisters also knew
that if I actually also have feminine and very sensitive. But they still
advised me to play with boys. As a result, I'd rather be alone than to play.
I come from a family with an average economic downward or
less capable. I am the third child of five siblings, two sisters are married
and I live with both my parents and my sister who works as a daily laborer.
Currently, I am a third semester student at a private
vocational school in Yogyakarta, since I've been eyeing junior finance major in
accounting courses (there are only two majors at the school, the Light Vehicle
Engineering and Accounting). I think about the number crunching is a fun
activity rather than run in blazing that make the skin more dull (I'm really
critical people in terms of health care). But what makes me upset when first
entering the student orientation is, why in this class there is only one guy?!
And that's me! Feelings of inferiority and shame could arise at that time. More
and more excruciating.
There is only one alternative solution of the problem is to
vent! Ya! However curhatku only to mirror everything that is going on just my
feelings stirred at the only mirror in my room! Actually, I started to think of
the mirror as a childhood friend had. I mix about discomfort when friends light
vehicle engineering guy (TKR) is often scoffed at me when I was still in one
semester (although even now still taunted!).
And I think until then ya just cerminlah safest place to vent
and ternyaman I had, considering I was a shy and slightly kesuliatan in
communication to establish a relationship. Maybe people would think I was crazy
for talking to the mirror, but please note that I do not care what anyone says.
One of my unpleasant experience curhatkan memalui mirror is
when the boys of the class who are always happy bothers TKR.
"Girls .. suiitt .. suuiitt ..! "taunted them while
I was walking in front of them.
"Lady, where are you going anyway? Hahaha! "
It's very frustrating, so it feels like punching them in the
face one by one so that they stop mocking me again.
I can only accelerate the pace down and into the classroom.
There is another curhatanku in the mirror when I was told
that there was a teacher at my school, so I hate sports. It happened like this.
As I stepped on the second semester, my class gets a small
gym class in conjunction with the fifth semester grade TKR dominated by boys.
Automated material sport is a game that favored them, such as football. Mr. Eko
course the gym teacher told me to join a group of boys, well that's where the
hazing among seniors and younger classes occur. 're Dead I was made the butt of
them on the pitch! Of course I did not dare to oppose them because of physical
comparisons and the number of those who are not fair to me, in conclusion, I
Just resigned to become a "doll" them. And strangely, the teachers do
not respond to anything that happens to their students who are this cute ..
In fact, I laughed my classmates and blamed by Mr. Eko
"You're sporting intentions or not anyway?! On the field,
why even a statue! "
"Hahahahahaha ..!"
Really can not forget the events for life.
While curhatanku the happiest of my life was when I put my
heart to someone, That was three months ago. Mirror, I was embarrassed at
hadapmu when I tell you a story of my first romance Adi, son TKR my year.
Mirror, you must be wondering why I could put her heart right? He is the
perfect man for me, besides handsome, mind and character very well! Only he's a
guy at school who would understand my nature. Do not know why I'm interested in
the creature called man! I also had to wonder to myself on every night, where I
was kneeling on my tears when my love for same-sex desires more passionate.
What else when I met him! But the love story ends terlarangku because without
my knowledge, he was already having a girlfriend women. Granted I have not told
my heart to him, for some logical considerations in humans generally, and I
thought how could a straight guy like Adi has the same feeling with the same
sex with him!
Mirror .. you know? While Adi could not be my first love
(hiks.. Sob ..), but he was the best friend I have, of late we
add the familiar, even I had missed to confide to you a mirror. I was the
introduction of a community where youth of this community to be a place for teenagers "weird" like
me. There meraka so welcome and care of each other. The community is made up of
the young high school / vocational school, both public and private. The
community was named YOUTH FORUM (YF). In YF I learned to appreciate, respect and
be brave.
No wonder Adi can accept my existence, lha wong he had plenty
of experience of organizing! In fact, he is now the chairman of the YF.
Mirror .. though now I have a better place to vent, but I
still will not forget you anyway :) I'll write your name on the book diaryku.
In YF I know who I am, why I am different from most men, and why I have a
passion for the same sex. I began to find my identity through knowledge
terbesit had never in my mind. I now like being born again! My spirits to fight
for the rights of young people in terms of reproductive health and sexuality so
tempestuous!
Of course, friends of the school was so stunned to see a drastic
change that I experienced since I know YF. I'm more active in asking questions
during the lesson. I also no longer a laughing stock or a target seniors. There
are even some friends girlfriends who started toward me, but I respond by
giving a fairly wise decision.
- ***
Mirror .. you know? a month ago I started to learn to love
the girl you know, the first girl I approached was named Mia, a girl he had two
semesters of accounting majors. Where we invented that is in the school
library, I first express my feelings to her,
"Hmm .. Mia, I want to talk to you .. "
"Dewo, I also want to talk with you .."
Our eyes caught something that makes your heart pounding.
"Mia, actually .. actually .. ak .. akuu .. love with
you. "Somehow my face at that time, he too had the same feeling with me!
These days we passed together, but humans can only plan, then
only God who determines our fate, when Mia was I approached to start the
journey my first love. God called him because he was suffering from brain
cancer .. indeed a tragic scene at once romantic, I expressed my feelings at
times last! But I ikhlaskan all that, I believe that God's plan is more
beautiful than what we had planned. : ')
Mirror .. unfinished grief turns up here, three days later I
lost my best friend, someone who I think is his, he has taught me to be more
strong and more mature when I faced problem after problem. Ad. The accident
kept him in the hospital stay, as his head hit the pavement. when on the fifth
day I visit her. He was told, "Wo, I wish one day we could bring YF
mission together, but if I can no longer move with you, promise me if you can
make it happen!"
"Yes! I promise Adi .. so you hurry up well, we'll be
together again struggled with YF. "I whispered. Then I immediately invited
my friends Adi who turns to visit him.
I sat in the waiting room with the teachers also visited. My
feelings then it can not be quiet, nervous and sad for the loss of Mia will
happen again with my best friend. As lightning struck my heart, my legs buckled
instantly when suddenly a deafening screams rang out from the ward where Adi
treated. I find the eyes of the people who surround the bed Adi was in tears. I
was unable to approach the body which had been covered adi white cloth.
Messages that Adi gave me a final sentence of his mouth.
Mirror, now my days back itself .. the people I care about
suddenly go one by one. No! I should not be sad constantly! I still have the
YF! I had to realize YF petition in accordance with the last message he
requested Adi to me! YF members entrusted me to lead the YF replace Adi. Later
I overhauling YF stewardship program new work, to make it more intense meeting
with stakeholders to realize the expectations of Adi.
***
We held several hearings with district stakeholders and
networking with Youth Villages and other youth community to socialize the
importance of education of adolescent reproductive health (ARH). Besides, we
also provide socialization to some junior high perceived lack of knowledge
about the ARH. After some fighting on the activities related to ARH education
curriculum in order to enter or Mulok. Right on the sixth anniversary YF, we
finally got a positive response from the Regent. Regents with related agencies
to discuss the draft decree on education KRR to serve as Mulok or
Extracurricular shall commensurate with the scouts.
Mirror, YF birthday, we pray for YF build a better future,
I'm also grateful that my hopes, expectations Adi, and certainly hope YF has
materialized ..
***
Mirror .. You're the only witness to the journey of my life,
bitter-sweet we spent together, I also got a valuable lesson from you: YOU CAN
NOT CHANGE THE ERRORS WILL YESTERDAY, BUT YOU WILL BE STARTING THE NEW WITH
MIRROR ERROR YESTERDAY.
